Taking Light To New Heights

Grind for April 19th, 2019
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”

– Henry Kissinger

Reach For The Stars

The Headline

In 2021, Pepsi will advertise in the night sky using a manmade constellation

The Grind

PepsiCo is planning an unconventional advertising project that will light up the night sky using an artificial constellation made by Russian company StartRocket.

The fake star cluster will consist of CubeSats (mini satellites) outfitted with Mylar sails that will reflect sunlight to Earth in a pattern of Pepsi’s choosing.

Each 8-hour ad slot will cost $20,000.

“We are ruled by brands and events,” says project leader Vlad Sitnikov. “The Super Bowl, Coca Cola, Brexit, the Olympics, Mercedes, FIFA, Supreme, and the Mexican wall. The economy is the blood system of society. Entertainment and advertising are at its heart.”

The Details

Pepsi wants to use StartRocket’s CubeSat system to promote a “campaign against stereotypes and unjustified prejudices against gamers” on behalf of the Russian energy drink Adrenaline Rush.

“We believe in StartRocket potential,” says Pepsi spokesman Olga Mangova. “Orbital billboards are the revolution on the market of communications. That’s why on behalf of Adrenaline Rush…we agreed on this partnership.”

Researchers are concerned about the scientific and national security implications involved, but StartRocket insists the system has been tested successfully.

If all goes according to plan, StartRocket will launch its orbital billboard in 2021.

Beam Me Up Scotty

The Headline

The presidential hopeful who wants to tour the country via hologram

The Grind

Presidential candidate Andrew Yang, 44, wants to use a hologram to deliver campaign speeches in two places at once.

Last week, he posted a video to Twitter showing his hologram “performing” onstage with a hologram of Tupac.

“I was doing a demo of what a hologram would consist of in order to send the hologram me to campaign in Iowa and other battleground states so I could be in two places or three places…at once,” he told TMZ.

The Details

Yang told reporters the hologram would fit nicely with his campaign theme – “That things are changing, and we can’t just keep doing the same things over and over again and expect it to achieve the results we need.”

Yang is a staunch proponent of Universal Basic Income. His policy idea, dubbed “the freedom dividend,” would increase taxes on companies in order to provide every American adult with $1,000 per month regardless of employment status.

“New technologies have already destroyed more than 4 million US jobs, and in the next 5-10 years, they will eliminate millions more,” reads Yang’s campaign website. “A third of all American workers are at risk of permanent unemployment. And this time, the jobs will not come back.”

Did you know… There are six times as many people of Irish descent living in America than in Ireland.